I'm not an RPG Maker, I'm an....

RPG FAKER

A terribly written, poorly designed site made to chronicle my attempts to make the shovelware of my dreams despite not being a game developer!

I've been messing with various versions of RPG Maker for over 25 years and have yet to make anything worthwhile...or anything, period. But lately I've been making the most progress I ever have in creating an actual game and I hope having this website will motivate me to actually complete the damn thing...or at least provide content to document my miserable failure!

Blog posts are displayed by date oldest-to-newest because my early posts provide essential background on my game. Updates below will provide links to the newest blog posts for quicker navigation.

Website Updates:
June 24th, 2025:New blog post: Themes, Again
June 24th, 2025:Website is now located on Nekoweb and here on Neocities.
June 21st, 2025: Search for website host has started
June 21st, 2025: New blog post: Themes, Themes, Themes
June 20th, 2025: New blog post: Main Ambition
June 20th, 2025: New blog post: Current Project
June 19th, 2025: Introduction post completed

Game Updates:
June 22nd, 2025: Discovered way to get chain scoring working properly. It was a potential major part of the game and I would have been disappointed to not have it available. Possible details in a future blog post.

Current Project

The RPG Maker series was designed to let people make RPGs with little-to-no coding knowledge. It's quite powerful for what it's made for, but those who are familiar with coding games might have find it a bit limiting.

And then there are idiots like me!

Not only do I have no coding knowledge available for making games (hell, my websites barely function) but I'm also not attempting to make an RPG...I'm trying to make a puzzle game. I'm sure there are children out there taking coding classes in school who can probably create the same thing I'm trying to make but much more efficiently and of much higher quality. However, I'm older and have a harder time learning than I used to, so making my puzzle game the hard way is actually easier for me, even if it's not the proper way.

I started drawing up plans for my current game while sitting at my desk at work around 10 years ago. I had nothing particular to do at my job that day (I miss that job so much) so I just started drawing up some ideas on a piece of notebook paper. For some reason, a game called Baku Baku Animal was on my mind. It was a mildly successful game released for the Sega Saturn in 1995 and was heavily inspired by the puzzle series Puyo Puyo but instead of matching 4 of a color, you were matching an animal with it's food of choice. Dogs ate bones, Monkeys ate bananas, etc. When the blocks lined up, the animals would pop up and devour the food. It was a beautiful display of mid 90's Japanese style and aesthetic. I had first read about it in an issue of Game Players where they gave it a favorable review and I was oddly curious about it. When I eventually bought a Sega Saturn around 2011, it was one of the first games I purchased. It's fun as hell, and I still play it once every few months.

For whatever reason, I had a desire to create my own version of it but I wanted mine to be more laid back. Instead of going head-to-head against an opponent, you would be on your own trying to chase a high score. You would have random blocks other than just the regular blocks appear at times to hinder your progress. it wouldn't be based on animals eating food, it would instead be based on knights, archers, etc. and their respective weapons. Sometimes an NPC block would appear and give dialogue, plot advancement, etc. upon being eliminated from the board.

I eventually gave up on trying to create this. It turns out, making a moving block that accurately sets in place and/or eliminates seemed damn near impossible if you have no coding skills. Nowadays, I can think of several ways of possibly making it happen. It would involve setting the blocks location info using variables and then tracking it from there and then using a lot of a LOT of if/then commands to determine which tile the block is occupying and setting the tile up to show that block based on it's own variable/switch. It's a tedious pain in ass...but as I type this, I kinda want to try it but it also sounds absolutely exhausting.

So, starting last year and then restarting about a month ago, I decided to start making a version of this within the reasonable limits of my ability (a topic I'll explore in a different blog entry). Instead of placing a moving block down into place, you're casually placing the block on top in a spot where you can set off a switch that drops it down. It still uses up a lot of variables but I'm discovering that it's possible, which is neat. It also allows it to be much better to play on mobile, which the latest version of RPG Maker at the time (VX Ace) didn't support at the time I originally came up with the game idea. I feel like this type of game is best experienced on mobile as it is, because it seems too simplistic to play on a computer. It's probably not going to have a story though, I'm thinking of using scoring conditions to advance further into the game. Each "turn" resets your score, thus forcing the player to try and eliminate a lot of blocks in one turn rather than getting rid of them little by little.

Admittedly, this game is only my CURRENT goal. Now that I'm older, I have several other ideas I want to eventually attempt. The main big one uses a similar gameplay loop, but it's much more complicated. It's a topic for my next planned discussion but essentially, I have to make the current game first and if I manage to make that possible, then perhaps I have the ability to achieve my main goal.

There are several challenges in my way that I have to deal with and each of these are sure to get their own future blog entry. I want additional methods of scoring available for the player and I'm finding some of them hard to implement. Also, I don't have a set theme for this game...I'm leaning against the stereotypical medieval army and want something a bit more creative for this otherwise simple game. Not only is it simple, It SCREAMS shovelware that very few will be interested in.

But it's MY shovelware, and I'll dig my grave with it if I want to.

Main Ambition

I've used RPG Maker for over 25 years, but not on a consistent basis. I'll binge on it for a few weeks and then go a few years without touching it. It's unfortunate that I feel the need to use it now given that I'm an early owner of the Nintendo Switch 2. I COULD be getting my ass kicked by what are likely 10 year-olds in Mario Kart but instead I'm raging at variables and switches not functioning the way I thought they would.

With that said, a few months ago I accidentally came up with an idea. It's actually a mashup of several different ideas that have been in my head for the past few years and it's inspired by an unholy combination of three games: Baku Baku Animal, SimCity, and Rift Wizard. Yes, it's a Block Puzzle, Simulation, and Roguelike/lite...Every roguelike/lite nowadays needs to be mixed with a completely different genre nowadays (or card based...ugh, so many card based roguelikes...) and I guess I'm no different with my idea.

I already described Baku Baku Animal on my previous blog entry to the left, so let's talk about SimCity instead to start things off. It is (or was?...I dunno if EA is going to do anything worthwhile with it anymore) a long running series of city management games primarily released on the PC but also released for seemingly every platform imaginable to varying degrees of success and quality. In the SimCity games, you design a city and try to balance a budget as well as the needs of your citizens. Utilities, traffic, taxes, etc. all have to be taken under consideration when building your city.

Cities: Skylines was released ten (YES, TEN!!) years ago and in many ways has surpassed SimCity as the city builder of choice. It looks way better with a lot more options and it's much more realistic. I enjoy it immensely when I play it but for some reason it just makes me want to play SimCity 3000 (my personal favorite SimCity release). Maybe it's nostalgia, or the charming sense of humor, or perhaps I just miss building a city in an isometric viewpoint. Whatever the case, it draws me in whenever I attempt a different city-builder game. And before you ask, I have NOT played Cities: Skylines 2 yet and I'm not sure I ever will. I'm apparently not alone in that sentiment.

And then there is Rift Wizard (and it's better sequel, Rift Wizard 2). Unless you're really into roguelikes/lites, you've probably never heard of it. It's a roguelike where you play as a wizard and you must utilize spell synergies, positioning, and careful planning based on the strengths/weaknesses of your enemies. Your spell selection is not limited by class, as long as you have enough magic orbs you can learn any magic spell and skill. The built potential for your character is mind-boggling and a search through YouTube can yield some seriously overpowered character builds being created. I also love the graphics and UI (some people are really put off by it though) and the ambient soundtrack is very much my jam. The Rift Wizard games have a small cult-following that I really wish was larger.

I don't want to give TOO much away (though the general description should be more than enough) but basically my future game idea is a chaotic mesh of Baku Baku Animal, SimCity, and Rift Wizard. The game has you dropping blocks like in Baku Baku Animal, the blocks will represent city buildings and utilities that allow you to manage a budget for the city like in SimCity, and there are many types of blocks you can purchase and synergize with like in Rift Wizard. It's (probably?) not as complicated as it may sound and I feel like it could be a legitimate worthwhile game.

But I'm not working on it yet...officially. Before taking on big projects in RPG Maker, it's generally wise to start with a small, simple game at first. The current game I'm making isn't much more than shovelware but it does serve as a simple, barebones, proof-of-concept version of the basic gameplay loop that my future main project has. If I can't figure out how to make my current project work, then obviously my main future project will not be possible. As of right now, the future is looking hopeful and if it doesn't pan out, then maybe I can try some other project in a couple of years...

Themes, Themes, Themes

You would think that after all this time I would have settled on a theme for my current project, right? Nope! At least I have a theme for my future big project, so I guess that's a start. I have read from actual game developers that doing the art and theme is the most fun part of making a game, so I guess doing the tedious shit first will allow me to have more fun when it's nearing completion.

One idea was to make my current project a city themed game as well. Maybe I could have it as a prequel? I've thought about it but I've accepted the fact that my current project is basically just shovelware and that it would tarnish the interest that my future project may have. As a result, I am very unlikely to have my current project be city themed.

I had originally planned on a generic medieval setting, just typical RPG shit. It IS RPG Maker after all. Knights take swords, Archers take bow and arrow, Mages have magic, etc. but if I kept this theme, I would probably add some elements that I didn't plan on a few months ago that I had wanted to include a decade ago. Townsfolk blocks lead to conversations, shops lead to...well, shops. Again, typical RPG shit. But in the process, I feel like I would be making my current project a bit more complicated than when I originally started to create. I am really trying to keep this game simple and leave the convoluted stuff for the future.

Speaking of generic, I considered doing a game based on the elements of earth, wind, fire, and water while having mages that fit those themes. it would require the least amount of thinking and focus on the bare minimum to get gameplay going. But this idea feels TOO generic and hurts the appeal of the game.

So how about this....an Octopus and its tentacles. An Octopus has 8 tentacles, and I need 8 seperate block types for my game to work, so it sorta fits well. The idea itself is creative enough. But here's the thing...I already had an idea for a game starring an Octopus...it had a comedic backstory and everything. It was called Octopus Guardian and was a mix of a board game and 2d autobattler. I'll go into more detail in a future blog post but I will say that it's one of those ideas that I realized I wouldn't be able to accomplish without learning some code. With that said, I do want to save Octopus Guardian for something...preferably my future project where he'll be the mayor or something ridiculous like that. I actually like this character and want it associated with something of reasonable quality...and I'm not sure my current project is it.

Given the influence Baku Baku Animal had, I AM considering making it animal themed. Maybe have it zoo themed with elephants and monkeys and shit. Or have a household with cats, dogs, rabbits, and...well heck, what else do you people keep as pets nowadays? It would certainly make ideas easier to come up with...since the theme wouldn't be my idea. It's nice to pay tribute to a game in a way but I almost feel like having it themed around animals and the food they eat would feel like just straight up ripping the game off. It's shovelware and my standards are low, but I want to have SOME self respect and pride in what I'm doing here.

But what if I decide to throw all my pride and self respect out the window...what would the resulting theme be?

....

Smut.

It has been considered on multiple occasions...but how far would I take it? A lot of those games show very explicit (and sometimes disturbing) content in their previews...and there's no way I would want to have that in my game. But seeing as how my game has an aesthetic (this and UI are a future topic of conversation) resembling the 8-bit and 16-bit RPGs of the past, maybe I could do some pixelated stuff. I've encountered plenty of people online who are into this sort of thing, so if I'm desperate for attention then this might be an option. But would I want to be associated with other smutty games? How comfortable would I be if my game appeared in the store algorithm next to a couple of games that have some very uncomfortable scenes and graphics in it? And for fuck's sake, what would my family and friends think? I do think about it once in a while though, I guess out of sheer amusement.

In conclusion, I'm still thinking of ideas and am hoping something truly unique comes to mind. Perhaps I just need a quality nap.

Themes, Again

In my last blog post (to your left) I discussed several themes I am considering for the current project I'm working on. However there are more, I just didn't think of them at the time! It probably would have helped if I wrote them down at the time but alas, my best inspiration comes to me late at night when I'm more concerned about sleep than I am about future ideas that I likely wouldn't implement.

One bland idea was cards...match the face cards and aces of clubs/spades with matching cards of hearts/diamonds. Hey, gotta capitalize on that Balatro popularity! But let's face it...it's very boring and doesn't provide enough gameplay depth where I could get away with it.

Speaking of bland ideas, another one I had was...dice. Yes, dice...very exciting. You'd be matching dice of one number with a different colored dice of the same number. Unfortunately this might be the most bland idea imaginable and would only appeal to boomers. Innovative ideas like this are probably why I get stuck dating women who are much older than me...

Another theme I thought of was based on a Windows operating system. Blocks would include several different desktop icons being matched up. I've seen other games like Kingsway and Windowkill that use a similar theme, but I think it's original enough where I could get away with it. It hasn't been ruled out yet!

I sometimes come up with stuff at work and one was the idea of making it based on Microsoft Excel. Blocks include that paint bucket logo, the font logo, etc. Part of me gets a kick out of this, but part of me would rather not think about work when playing a game and I doubt that I'm alone with that sentiment.

Another idea influenced by my work was something office based. Blocks would be printers, fax machines (yep, we use them here), computers, etc. Obviously, none of them would be functioning properly (just like real life!) and the idea is that you would be breaking them out of frustration. This has great potential and I guess some people would find this appealing. Problem is (and prepare yourself for this scorching hot take), I find office humor played out and kinda boring at this point ,at least among my social circle, and I usually cringe when someone makes an office related joke. I recognize that I'm in the minority though, so I haven't completely ruled it out.

The final idea I thought of a while back that I didn't mention was the theme of a troubled bodybuilder. It would have a backstory of a dude who is so obsessed with body image that he ignores his friends, family, and child...not to mention the child support he owes his ex-wife. When beginning the game, he'll start by occasionally shouting random motivational messages, but occasionally he'll say something very depressing that reveals his real thoughts. As you play on and advance through the game, he spirals out of control. I have several endings in mind and all of them are absolutely tragic. For reasons I'll get into in another blog post, I haven't settled on this theme and l most likely won't use it...but I haven't ruled it out either, because I genuinely like it overall. It's definitely being considered more than some of my other ideas.

I'm sure I'll think of other themes in the future...likely when I'm trying to sleep. As I've mentioned in the past, I'm thankful naps exist.